Recovery is always within reach

B''H

"When at the end of the road we find that we can no longer function as human beings, either with or without drugs, we all face the same dilemma. What is there left to do? There seems to be this alternative: either go on as best we can to the bitter ends—jails, institutions, or death—or find a new way to live." (Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text)

When most people reach the proverbial "end of the road" they may feel very low. A lot of addicts come in to the rooms of a 12-step group feeling like the worst person in the world. We've lied, we've cheated, we've stolen. We've used people, often times we've done these things to the people closest to us, our parents, partners, our children. You may feel like the worst person in the world.

The yetzer hara (the voice of your addiction which lives inside of you), tells you, "I am such a bad person, G-d will never help me."

This makes it very easy to get discouraged. You may see the other people in recovery, who have jobs, families, friends. Maybe you're living on the street, or in your car. Your yetzer hara will tell you "I can't do it, I have nothing."

During these times never forget the wisdom of King David:

Where shall I go from Your spirit, and where shall I flee from Your presence?  If I ascend to the heavens, there You are, and if I make my bed in the Sheol, behold, You are there. (Psalms 139:7-8)

Even at your lowest point, HASHEM is there waiting for you to call out to Him.

It's said "There is nothing new in Torah". It is also true that there is nothing new in recovery.
No matter what you have done, no matter where you have been, someone else has done worse.

I have a friend who told me his story. He spent most of his life using drugs. He destroyed his relationship with everyone he cared about. As many addicts he eventually turned to crime to support his habit. He was in and out of prison numerous times. Eventually he ended up living in the woods, homeless. He had nothing and nobody. He lived only to collect or steal what little money he could and buy drugs.

He tried many times to get sober only to relapse weeks and months later. Finally in desperation he decided to end his life. He climbed a tree and tied a noose around the branch. He put his neck through the loop and jumped.

As he hung from the tree, slowly strangling to death, he had a revelation that he wanted to live! He called out to G-d that he wanted to live. Suddenly the branch broke and he was freed. He ran out of the woods into the street and a passing motorist stopped and brought him to the hospital.

He attended Narcotics Anonymous, he got a good sponsor and worked the steps. Today he is many years sober. He is married and owns his own business. He remains extremely active in the program today.

Nobody is ever beyond redemption.

"G-d's greatness is unfathomable: that is why Teshuvah has such power. No matter how far you may have fallen - be it to the lowest depths - never despair, because you can always return to G-d. With just a little effort you can turn even your worst sins into merits. No matter where in the world you fall, you can easily come back to G-d. This is because of His unfathomable greatness. Nothing is beyond His power. Just never give up! Keep crying out, praying and pleading to G-d at all times." (Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, Sichot Haran #3)