Gratitude in Action: Morning Blessings (Introduction)

B'H:

Gratitude In Action:

Morning Blessings

"A grateful alcoholic will never drink" -Anonymous

The importance of gratitude

If the 12 steps are the engine of recovery, then gratitude is the gasoline. Gratitude did not and could not get me sober, but it is what sustains my sobriety and fuels my recovery on a daily basis. I hear many people come in the rooms and talk about fear keeping them sober. They stay in the program because they are afraid of the consequences of going back out.

I don't feel like fear is a reliable motivator for me.

I had no fear of sticking the needle in my arm the first time. I certainly had no fear of death injecting 10-15 bags of Heroin a day. Certainly no fear of prison when I would drive me dealer, an escaped convict on the run, across the state to get dope from his supplier.

What stands between me and the next fix or the next drink is gratitude.

You might say "Isn't it HASHEM that keeps you from using?".

The simple answer is no.

HASHEM has performed the miracle of removing the need and desire to use from me. However giving my will to Him every day (Step 3) is a conscious act that must be done at least daily. Someone in a meeting once told me:

"I can give my will to G-d, the problem is that He loves us so much he will let us take our will and our life back whenever we choose". 

I will admit it, sometimes I think about getting high. I don't think I've met any addict in recovery that says he or she does not, at least occasionally, think about. It is not the horrible burning obsession that it once was, but the thought may pop in to my head from time to time. It is at these times that I ask HASHEM to give me the power to stay sober. The key is that I have to choose to ask for His help!

Gratitude is what gives me the desire to give my will to HASHEM.

I appreciate the wonderful life that I almost threw away for drugs. I appreciate my family, my health, having food on the table, my home, my clothes, running water and most of all being alive! Recognizing how fortunate I am and continue to be thankful and grateful for these blessings in my life is what gives me the desire to live recovery every day.

Practicing Gratitude

"You can't think your way into right action, but you can act your way into right thinking." - Anonymous

 There's a common saying in the rooms regarding the book Alcoholics Anonymous "There's no chapter call 'In to thinking' but there is one called 'In to action'" Like any other spiritual principle gratitude is something which must be practiced so that it becomes as much of a part of our thinking as getting dressed in the morning.

Fortunately for us in their infinite wisdom our sages (Z''L) realized how important gratitude is. Since all blessing comes from HASHEM, The Talmud prescribes that a Jew should recite a short prayer of gratitude to HASHEM so we don't take his blessings for granted.

“A person is forbidden to enjoy any of the pleasures of the world without first reciting praise to God” (Babylonian Talmud, Brachot 35a).

This reminds of the importance of simple blessings that we might otherwise take for granted. The blessings are fixed so we don't have to worry about figuring out what to say, or when, our sages (Z'L) figured that all out for us!

The Talmudic sage Rabbi Meir (Z''L) suggests a Jew should say 100 blessings each day!

"It was taught in a Baraita: R. Meir said: a person must make 100 blessings each day, as it is written... (Deuteronomy 10:12) 'And now Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you...' " (Babylonian Talmud, Menachot 43b)

When I learned that I wasn't sure I had 100 things a day I should be thankful for! I had no idea how I could possibly fulfill this mitzva. I don't suggest trying to at first. What I did was simply started with one and said it every day until it became routine. Then I added another, and another. I ended up adding about one each week, but you should go at your own pace. However you feel comfortable.

"You will find many kinds of devotion in the sacred literature and think, “When will I be able to fulfill even one of these devotions, let alone all of them?!” Don’t panic. One shouldn’t rush and try to grasp everything at once. He has to go slowly, step by step without getting into a tizzy and trying to do and accomplish everything immediately. If he is over hasty he will become totally confused. When there is fire, God forbid, people panic and rescue needless aitems."   (R. Nachman of Breslov, Rebbe Nachman's Wisdom, #27)

Morning Blessings

In the next series of posts I will discuss in depth the morning blessings. In my recovery these have been the most important part of my day. These blessings keep me humble, they center my ego and help me connect with HASHEM and prepare to ask for His power to keep me sober that day.

To read Part 2: Modeh Ani

Click Here

Recovery is always within reach

B''H

"When at the end of the road we find that we can no longer function as human beings, either with or without drugs, we all face the same dilemma. What is there left to do? There seems to be this alternative: either go on as best we can to the bitter ends—jails, institutions, or death—or find a new way to live." (Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text)

When most people reach the proverbial "end of the road" they may feel very low. A lot of addicts come in to the rooms of a 12-step group feeling like the worst person in the world. We've lied, we've cheated, we've stolen. We've used people, often times we've done these things to the people closest to us, our parents, partners, our children. You may feel like the worst person in the world.

The yetzer hara (the voice of your addiction which lives inside of you), tells you, "I am such a bad person, G-d will never help me."

This makes it very easy to get discouraged. You may see the other people in recovery, who have jobs, families, friends. Maybe you're living on the street, or in your car. Your yetzer hara will tell you "I can't do it, I have nothing."

During these times never forget the wisdom of King David:

Where shall I go from Your spirit, and where shall I flee from Your presence?  If I ascend to the heavens, there You are, and if I make my bed in the Sheol, behold, You are there. (Psalms 139:7-8)

Even at your lowest point, HASHEM is there waiting for you to call out to Him.

It's said "There is nothing new in Torah". It is also true that there is nothing new in recovery.
No matter what you have done, no matter where you have been, someone else has done worse.

I have a friend who told me his story. He spent most of his life using drugs. He destroyed his relationship with everyone he cared about. As many addicts he eventually turned to crime to support his habit. He was in and out of prison numerous times. Eventually he ended up living in the woods, homeless. He had nothing and nobody. He lived only to collect or steal what little money he could and buy drugs.

He tried many times to get sober only to relapse weeks and months later. Finally in desperation he decided to end his life. He climbed a tree and tied a noose around the branch. He put his neck through the loop and jumped.

As he hung from the tree, slowly strangling to death, he had a revelation that he wanted to live! He called out to G-d that he wanted to live. Suddenly the branch broke and he was freed. He ran out of the woods into the street and a passing motorist stopped and brought him to the hospital.

He attended Narcotics Anonymous, he got a good sponsor and worked the steps. Today he is many years sober. He is married and owns his own business. He remains extremely active in the program today.

Nobody is ever beyond redemption.

"G-d's greatness is unfathomable: that is why Teshuvah has such power. No matter how far you may have fallen - be it to the lowest depths - never despair, because you can always return to G-d. With just a little effort you can turn even your worst sins into merits. No matter where in the world you fall, you can easily come back to G-d. This is because of His unfathomable greatness. Nothing is beyond His power. Just never give up! Keep crying out, praying and pleading to G-d at all times." (Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, Sichot Haran #3)

Jewish 3rd Step Prayer

The following prayer was composed by Rabbi Natan (Nosson) of Breslov (Z''L) who based it upon the teachings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov (of blessed memory). Rabbi Nachman taught that prayer was the primary means to connect to HASHEM It is suggested as a 3rd step prayer for Jews uncomfortable with the traditional one.

Grant me inner peace... 
Let my body be completely subordinate to my soul and have no other will or desire but to follow the desire of the holy soul, which is to do Your will.
Let peace reign between my soul and my body. Let my body be sanctified and purified until it becomes united with the holy soul and I carry out all Your commandments and do everything You want of me, body and soul, willingly and with great joy.
Let my body and soul unite in love and peace to do Your will sincerely,  until I attain complete inner harmony and am ready to order my prayer  before You perfectly. 
Let my prayer rise before You like the incense and perfect sacrifices offered by those who are whole and perfect.
-Rabbi Natan of Breslov Likutey Tefilot