Gratitude in Action: Morning Blessings (Introduction)

B'H:

Gratitude In Action:

Morning Blessings

"A grateful alcoholic will never drink" -Anonymous

The importance of gratitude

If the 12 steps are the engine of recovery, then gratitude is the gasoline. Gratitude did not and could not get me sober, but it is what sustains my sobriety and fuels my recovery on a daily basis. I hear many people come in the rooms and talk about fear keeping them sober. They stay in the program because they are afraid of the consequences of going back out.

I don't feel like fear is a reliable motivator for me.

I had no fear of sticking the needle in my arm the first time. I certainly had no fear of death injecting 10-15 bags of Heroin a day. Certainly no fear of prison when I would drive me dealer, an escaped convict on the run, across the state to get dope from his supplier.

What stands between me and the next fix or the next drink is gratitude.

You might say "Isn't it HASHEM that keeps you from using?".

The simple answer is no.

HASHEM has performed the miracle of removing the need and desire to use from me. However giving my will to Him every day (Step 3) is a conscious act that must be done at least daily. Someone in a meeting once told me:

"I can give my will to G-d, the problem is that He loves us so much he will let us take our will and our life back whenever we choose". 

I will admit it, sometimes I think about getting high. I don't think I've met any addict in recovery that says he or she does not, at least occasionally, think about. It is not the horrible burning obsession that it once was, but the thought may pop in to my head from time to time. It is at these times that I ask HASHEM to give me the power to stay sober. The key is that I have to choose to ask for His help!

Gratitude is what gives me the desire to give my will to HASHEM.

I appreciate the wonderful life that I almost threw away for drugs. I appreciate my family, my health, having food on the table, my home, my clothes, running water and most of all being alive! Recognizing how fortunate I am and continue to be thankful and grateful for these blessings in my life is what gives me the desire to live recovery every day.

Practicing Gratitude

"You can't think your way into right action, but you can act your way into right thinking." - Anonymous

 There's a common saying in the rooms regarding the book Alcoholics Anonymous "There's no chapter call 'In to thinking' but there is one called 'In to action'" Like any other spiritual principle gratitude is something which must be practiced so that it becomes as much of a part of our thinking as getting dressed in the morning.

Fortunately for us in their infinite wisdom our sages (Z''L) realized how important gratitude is. Since all blessing comes from HASHEM, The Talmud prescribes that a Jew should recite a short prayer of gratitude to HASHEM so we don't take his blessings for granted.

“A person is forbidden to enjoy any of the pleasures of the world without first reciting praise to God” (Babylonian Talmud, Brachot 35a).

This reminds of the importance of simple blessings that we might otherwise take for granted. The blessings are fixed so we don't have to worry about figuring out what to say, or when, our sages (Z'L) figured that all out for us!

The Talmudic sage Rabbi Meir (Z''L) suggests a Jew should say 100 blessings each day!

"It was taught in a Baraita: R. Meir said: a person must make 100 blessings each day, as it is written... (Deuteronomy 10:12) 'And now Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you...' " (Babylonian Talmud, Menachot 43b)

When I learned that I wasn't sure I had 100 things a day I should be thankful for! I had no idea how I could possibly fulfill this mitzva. I don't suggest trying to at first. What I did was simply started with one and said it every day until it became routine. Then I added another, and another. I ended up adding about one each week, but you should go at your own pace. However you feel comfortable.

"You will find many kinds of devotion in the sacred literature and think, “When will I be able to fulfill even one of these devotions, let alone all of them?!” Don’t panic. One shouldn’t rush and try to grasp everything at once. He has to go slowly, step by step without getting into a tizzy and trying to do and accomplish everything immediately. If he is over hasty he will become totally confused. When there is fire, God forbid, people panic and rescue needless aitems."   (R. Nachman of Breslov, Rebbe Nachman's Wisdom, #27)

Morning Blessings

In the next series of posts I will discuss in depth the morning blessings. In my recovery these have been the most important part of my day. These blessings keep me humble, they center my ego and help me connect with HASHEM and prepare to ask for His power to keep me sober that day.

To read Part 2: Modeh Ani

Click Here

Gratitude In Action: The Rabbi & The Goat

B'H:

Gratitude In Action

The following is from a wonderful series of short films on spiritual and ethical principles. While they generally come from Jewish perspectives and sources, they are quite universally applicable. This film below is a perfect example of practicing gratitude.

Remember, spiritual principles are not just things we take off the shelf and study, or discuss in meetings. These are meant to be implemented in one's life. 

" You can't think your way into right action, but you can act your way into right thinking." -Bill Wilson 

In Memorium: Phil S.

On June 15th, 2015 the disease of addiction claimed one of my dear friends.

Every time I pick up a new key tag I thank Phil for saving my life. 

During the meetings Phil was not terribly inspirational. When the meeting closed, however, that's when Phil changed lives.

 The first meeting I went to my mother came along. Immediately after the meeting Phil noticed she was upset, he came over to her and spent a half hour comforting her and reassuring her that I was going to be alright and this program would work for me.

Phil was the first person in the rooms to give me a hug. If you were new to my home group, Phil probably gave you your first hug too. 

Phil taught me an important lesson: there is more to carrying the message to a newcomer than saying "keep coming back".

Phil rarely left before talking to everyone at the meeting and saying something nice to them. Early on I missed a few days and the next time I showed up Phil told me "I missed you, the meeting is better when you are here". 

I have no idea if he really meant this, maybe he said it to everyone, but I don't care. At that time what he said made me feel welcome and more importantly it made me feel WANTED.

It was at that moment I made up my mind to keep coming back to NA because I stopped feeling invisible for the first time in my life. I felt like people cared and wanted to know me.

Phil never said "keep coming back" but he got people to come back, because he took the time to tell each individual how important they were to the group and to him.

Phil didn't just give you his number, he took yours and he used it. If he didn't see you for a few days he would call to make sure everything was OK and suggest you might want to come by to a meeting. 

Phil called me the night my daughter was born, not because he knew that's what was happening but just because he wanted to say "Hi" and make sure I was doing okay and staying sober. Because that is the kind of guy Phil was, he really cared about people in recovery. He cared about newcomers.

He didn't just say Keep Coming Back, but he cared that you did.

Without Phil  and a few others like him, I would never have felt comfortable enough to continue in recovery. I would never have found G-d and got sober. 

Phil was not good at staying sober but he was good at helping others. He did for me what he was unable to do for himself. 

In his memory I want to take his place, to make sure there is always someone who shows the newcomer how important they are and make them feel welcome. 

We can all take a lesson from Phil, even if you're struggling, a few kind words can save a life. His certainly saved mine.

Rest in Peach Phil.

In death may you finally find the peace that was so elusive in life. 

Zichrona Livracha, may his memory be for a blessing 

Judaism & Step One: "The prisoner cannot free himself"

B''H

 STEP ONE:

We admitted we were powerless over our addiction— that our lives had become unmanageable.

One of the major objections I've read is that the key to the 12-steps is admitting one is powerless over his addiction. Yet Torah teaches HASHEM gave us free will, so how can we be powerless if we have free will. In fact, this is not at as problematic as it might seem. It is said "There is nothing new in Torah" and this example is a great illustration.

In the Talmud we find the following:

R. Hiyya b. Abba fell ill and R. Johanan went in to visit him. He said to him: Are your sufferings welcome to you? He replied: Neither they nor their reward.  He said to him: Give me your hand. He gave him his hand and he cured him.R. Johanan once fell ill and R. Hanina went in to visit him. He said to him: Are your sufferings welcome to you? He replied: Neither they nor their reward. He said to him: Give me your hand. He gave him his hand and he cured him.Why could not R. Johanan cure himself?  —The prisoner cannot free himself from prison.(Babylonian Talmud, Berachot 5b) 

The Talmudic sages had such perfect emuna (faith/trust in HASHEM) that they could perform great miracles. Clearly Rabbi Johanan and Rabbi Hiyya ben-Abba were great healers, yet they could not heal themselves from illness. Addiction is a disease. As the passage describes, just as a prisoner cannot free himself from prison, a person cannot heal himself from illness. He must find a power greater than himself to be healed.

Most people have the idea that free will is that a man has the ability to do whatever he wants. That his sheer force of will should be enough to accomplish anything. Torah however has a much different different and more nuanced perspective on the actual nature of free will. We know from Chazal (our sages Z''L) that inside each person there is a an inclination to do good (yetzer hatov)  and an inclination to do bad (yetzer hara).

The common western secular way to look at free will would be that free will gives us the ability to follow either desire. However Chazal teach that both inclinations are not made equal. The yetzer hara grows stronger each day, yet the yetzer hatov must be strengthened as a muscle, by choosing to do good actions. 

The Talmud actually teaches that a person is totally powerless over the yetzer hara and that it's only through HASHEM (a power greater than ourselves) that we are able to even choose to follow the yetzer hatov:

 And R. Simeon b. Levi1 said: Man's Evil Desire gathers strength against him daily and seeks to slay him, for it is said: The wicked watcheth the righteous, and seeketh to slay him; and were not the Holy One, blessed be He, to help him [man], he would not be able to prevail against him, for it is said: The Lord will not leave him in his hand. (Babylonian Talmud, Kiddushim 30b)

Much more has been written by the Rishonim (latter sages) about the nature of free will, that is quite compatible with the 1st step however I hope this is enough to convince you the idea is not anathema to Judaism.

If you would like additional sources please leave a note in the comments

Jewish 3rd Step Prayer

The following prayer was composed by Rabbi Natan (Nosson) of Breslov (Z''L) who based it upon the teachings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov (of blessed memory). Rabbi Nachman taught that prayer was the primary means to connect to HASHEM It is suggested as a 3rd step prayer for Jews uncomfortable with the traditional one.

Grant me inner peace... 
Let my body be completely subordinate to my soul and have no other will or desire but to follow the desire of the holy soul, which is to do Your will.
Let peace reign between my soul and my body. Let my body be sanctified and purified until it becomes united with the holy soul and I carry out all Your commandments and do everything You want of me, body and soul, willingly and with great joy.
Let my body and soul unite in love and peace to do Your will sincerely,  until I attain complete inner harmony and am ready to order my prayer  before You perfectly. 
Let my prayer rise before You like the incense and perfect sacrifices offered by those who are whole and perfect.
-Rabbi Natan of Breslov Likutey Tefilot