Gratitude in Action: Morning Blessings (Modeh Ani)

B''H

Gratitude In Action:
"Modeh Ani"

"In the service of the Almighty, the point of departure is Modeh Ani"   - Rabbi Sholom Dov Ber of Lubavitch ^[1]

This is post #2 in a series of posts, click here to view the introduction

Introduction

When I decided to start keeping mitzvot, this was a natural place to start. As  I said in the previous post in the "Gratitude In Action" series, I started with one blessing and then added a new one each week until I could get through all of the Birchot HaShachar easily. So naturally I started with Modeh Ani.

 One of the things my sponsor told me is "When I wake up I try to say a prayer of gratitude before even getting out of bed.". Our sages (Z''L) in their incredible wisdom had the same idea, that we need to start our day with gratitude. Therefore we need to pray on immediately arising, because we should be thankful for G-d giving us this new day alive.

I find this prayer particularly appropriate in my own case. Given the type of drugs I was using (Heroin, downers and painkillers) and the amount I used daily, it is truly a miracle and a blessing I am alive today. The words of the prayer resonate with me and as we delve into the text of the prayer itself, I will show you why.

The 5 Things

Early on in recovery a met a guy in the program, we'll call him Larry. He was an former biker gang member, and dope dealer who ended up living on the streets before he came into recovery. He has been in the program for 32 years. He was the first person I truly believed had quit dope for good and found a new way of life. Larry goes to a meeting just about every day and has for 30 years. He doesn't just say "Meeting makers make it", he embodies that saying. 

The first time we met, he shoved a laminated slip in my hand that had five enumerated sentences. Larry told me he stayed sober all these years by simply doing these five things every day, and if I did them I would never have to use again.

The list:

1. Every morning ask G-d to give you the strength to stay sober
2. Read some spiritual or recovery related literature
3. Attend a 12-step meeting
4. Associate only with sober people, preferably people in recovery
5. If you stayed sober, thank G-d before bed

I will discuss these things in depth and how they literally saved my life in another post. Right now I want to focus on #1.

In the Shacharit service we directly fulfill the 1st directive with several prayers that begin with "Yehi ratzon Milfanecha..." ("May it be Your will..."), which we will discuss in a forthcoming article.

One of these Yehi Ratzon prayers immediately follows the final blessing of Birchot Hashachar (Ham'avir shayna...). We can also find a similar prayer following the Shemoneh Esrei (Amidah).

So why don't we just say these prayers of supplication? What is the point of the blessings of gratitude that precede it?

Start with Thanks

In Judaism we rarely ask HASHEM for something without first thanking Him. As Rebbe Nachman of Breslov explains:

"When a person wants to pray to God and ask for what he needs, he should first thank God for all of His past kindnesses and only then ask for what he needs. Because if he starts by asking only for what he needs, God says, "Have you nothing to thank Me for then?"  -Siach Sarfey Kodesh 1-2^[2]

Chabad Lubavitch adds:

"The reflexive-reflective aspect of the initial segments [...] is to affect man in a way that readies him to stand before the Supreme King for the Shemoneh Esrei in appropriately reverent manner to submit his requests and petitions..." -Rabbi Immanuel Schochet

Alcoholics Anonymous also suggests it, drawing on a story in "We Agnostics":

"There is a description of a man who was resistant to the idea of a Higher Power. At the point that acknowledged that Power greater than himself he, "tumbled out of bed to his knees". This is a daily programme, so each day we do the same: start the day by getting out of bed and kneeling in prayer." (Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, 56)^[2]

I will also add that since I have started my day with these prayers of gratitude I have found each day becomes like a beautiful dream. All the anger and anxiety about life's problems just melts away when I recognize my true blessings.

Now, let's examine the text of the prayer itself.

Modeh Ani: The text

From Jewish Pathways / AishHaTorah ^[3]

At first look the text seems pretty straight forward, and for the most part it is. We are thanking HASHEM for "returning my soul within me", in essence giving us a new day of life. The Talmud teaches us that sleep is actually 1/60th of death:

"Five things are a sixtieth part of something else: namely, fire, honey, Sabbath, sleep and a dream. Fire is one-sixtieth part of Gehinnom. Honey is one-sixtieth part of manna. Sabbath is one-sixtieth part of the world to come. Sleep is one-sixtieth part of death. A dream is one-sixtieth part of prophecy." (Babylonian Talmud, Barachot 57b)

The idea of the soul leaving and being returned can either be thought of as a metaphor or mystically. The mystical claim is that one's neshama (soul) leaves his body during sleep. Before you wake HASHEM breathes it back into your nostrils. This is just as he breathed the neshama into Adam in Bereishit (Genesis).

In this way we should recognize that every morning is a new beginning. HASHEM in His boundless mercy gives us a blank slate every day. Perhaps yesterday you faltered, you yelled at someone, you hurt someone, you cheated someone, perhaps you even had a relapse. The prayer is reminding us today is a new day, it's a fresh start to turn everything around.

The second thing I want to draw attention to is the final line "Abundant is your faithfulness" ("Raba emunatecha"). It is appropriate that when reciting this blessing we pause between chemla (compassion) and Raba (Abundant/Great). We do this because we want to imply that HASHEM's faithfulness is abundant. If you do not pause, it incorrectly imply's that his compassion is abundant.

You may ask "What difference does it make?"

Surely HASHEM's compassion is abundant. We know HASHEM is the most compassionate. However that is not what the blessing is trying to say. We are not saying HASHEM restored our soul because He is compassionate. What we are saying is that He restored it because He is faithful.

It may seem weird to think of HASHEM as being faithful in a person, normally we are thinking about a person's faith in Him.  The point is that in this day you are alive, not as a reward for what you did yesterday but because G-d has faith in you, He returns your soul in faith that today you will use it to pursue good not evil. He returns it in faith that today will be the day that you make teshuva (returning to Him). We have to realize and appreciate that if our waking up tomorrow was based on the merits of today, the world would be mostly empty tomorrow.

After the prayer pause a moment and consider the people who do not have the blessing of today. Recognize and give thanks for the blessing of a fresh start, a blank slate, and commit to using it in the best way you can.

Halacha

Here are a few points of halacha (Law) regarding the recitation of Modeh Ani

• The blessing should be said immediately on awakening. Do not get out of bed, do not wash your hands, do pass go, do not collect $200. SAY THE BLESSING as soon as your eyes are open. ^[4]
• It is acceptable to say Modeah Ani before Natilat Yadayim (washing hands) because it does not contain G-d's name. ^[4]
• It is appropriate to cover one's head with a yarmulke (or even with the blanket) while reciting the blessing.
• A woman should substitute the first word for the feminine "Modah"
• It is appropriate to recite the blessing even if one has stayed awake all night. ^[5]
• Some Mizrahim (Levantine Jews) may substitute Elohai Nishama... for Modeh Ani... and this is acceptable if it is your minhag (custom) to do so. ^[6]

Final Thoughts

There is a story going around on the Internet. Maybe it is apocryphal, may be it isn't either way it gives you something to think about as the phenomenon it describes is true.

“At a United States convention of neurologists from all over the world, one of the main topics was the phenomenon of people fainting upon getting up from bed.

One of the speakers was Professor Linda McMaron of Great Britain and she gave a lengthy speech regarding her study on this issue.
She elaborated that after many years of study and investigation on this subject, she came to the conclusion that such fainting is caused by the sharp transfer between laying down and standing up.

Professor McMaron said that it takes 12 seconds for the blood to flow from the feet to the brain. But when a person quickly stands up upon waking up, the blood gets ‘thrown’ to the brain too quickly and the result is fainting. She suggested that each person, even one that does not have a tendency to faint, upon waking up should sit on the bed, and count slowly to 12 to avoid dizziness, weakness, and/or fainting.

Her speech was rewarded with loud applause and enthusiastic feedback.

Another professor, a Jewish religious man asked permission to speak. He said,
"With us, the Jews, there is an old tradition, thousands of years old, to say a prayer of thanks to the Creator of the World for providing us with the opportunity of a new day for accomplishment. The prayer is said immediately upon waking up, while one is still in bed and lying down. There are 12 words in this prayer and if one regulates himself to say it slowly with concentration, it takes exactly 12 seconds to say it...12 words in 12 seconds."

He said the prayer slowly in Hebrew:

"Modeh ani le’fanecha melech chai v’kayam, shehechezarta bi nish’mati b’chem’lah. Rabah emunatecha." 

"I Greatfully Thank You, living and eternal King, for You have returned my soul within me with compassion - abundant is your faithfulness!” 

The auditorium burst into a standing applause that roared throughout the auditorium.
This time, it was for the Creator of the World.

---

Footnotes: 
1.Gilnet, Lewis, The Joys of Hebrew
2. Greenbaum, Avraham. The Essential Rabbi Nachman, Jerusalem, Israel: Azamra Institute, 2006. Print.

3. It is important to note that kneeling or prostration during prayer, though a historical Israelite practice,  is considered inappropriate in modern Rabbinic Judaism.

Judaism.
4. Reproduced without permission
5. Mishna Brurah 1:8
6. DailyHalacha
7. source

Judaism & Step One: "The prisoner cannot free himself"

B''H

 STEP ONE:

We admitted we were powerless over our addiction— that our lives had become unmanageable.

One of the major objections I've read is that the key to the 12-steps is admitting one is powerless over his addiction. Yet Torah teaches HASHEM gave us free will, so how can we be powerless if we have free will. In fact, this is not at as problematic as it might seem. It is said "There is nothing new in Torah" and this example is a great illustration.

In the Talmud we find the following:

R. Hiyya b. Abba fell ill and R. Johanan went in to visit him. He said to him: Are your sufferings welcome to you? He replied: Neither they nor their reward.  He said to him: Give me your hand. He gave him his hand and he cured him.R. Johanan once fell ill and R. Hanina went in to visit him. He said to him: Are your sufferings welcome to you? He replied: Neither they nor their reward. He said to him: Give me your hand. He gave him his hand and he cured him.Why could not R. Johanan cure himself?  —The prisoner cannot free himself from prison.(Babylonian Talmud, Berachot 5b) 

The Talmudic sages had such perfect emuna (faith/trust in HASHEM) that they could perform great miracles. Clearly Rabbi Johanan and Rabbi Hiyya ben-Abba were great healers, yet they could not heal themselves from illness. Addiction is a disease. As the passage describes, just as a prisoner cannot free himself from prison, a person cannot heal himself from illness. He must find a power greater than himself to be healed.

Most people have the idea that free will is that a man has the ability to do whatever he wants. That his sheer force of will should be enough to accomplish anything. Torah however has a much different different and more nuanced perspective on the actual nature of free will. We know from Chazal (our sages Z''L) that inside each person there is a an inclination to do good (yetzer hatov)  and an inclination to do bad (yetzer hara).

The common western secular way to look at free will would be that free will gives us the ability to follow either desire. However Chazal teach that both inclinations are not made equal. The yetzer hara grows stronger each day, yet the yetzer hatov must be strengthened as a muscle, by choosing to do good actions. 

The Talmud actually teaches that a person is totally powerless over the yetzer hara and that it's only through HASHEM (a power greater than ourselves) that we are able to even choose to follow the yetzer hatov:

 And R. Simeon b. Levi1 said: Man's Evil Desire gathers strength against him daily and seeks to slay him, for it is said: The wicked watcheth the righteous, and seeketh to slay him; and were not the Holy One, blessed be He, to help him [man], he would not be able to prevail against him, for it is said: The Lord will not leave him in his hand. (Babylonian Talmud, Kiddushim 30b)

Much more has been written by the Rishonim (latter sages) about the nature of free will, that is quite compatible with the 1st step however I hope this is enough to convince you the idea is not anathema to Judaism.

If you would like additional sources please leave a note in the comments