Noah the alcoholic

B''H

Dear Friends,

In Judaism wine is considered a symbol of joy,and in fact we are commanded to partake of it on the holy Shabbos (Sabbath) and most Chagim (Festivals/Holidays). This has lead to a relatively modern stereotype that Jews are not susceptible to alcoholism.

This stereotype it  immortalized in the popular yiddish folk song Shikur iz a Goy (lit. "The drunkard is a gentile").

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While clearly Jews accepted this stereotype there is evidence that it actually originated with gentiles in the area of Russia and Poland. Far from a positive stereotype, it has roots in a antisemitic myth that tavern owners were often Jews because the Jew was immune to alcoholism, and knowing this he would enslave their fellow gentile countrymen to the bottle. In reality Jews often owned taverns because it was one of the very few professions open to Jews, as they were commonly barred from farming or trades. 

This first week of Chesvan we will be reading the Torah parsha Noach (the story of Noah).  According to the Torah, Noah is the world's first alcoholic. Far from perpetuating the stereotype discussed above, a review of rabbinic literature shows that Our Sages of Blessed Memory (Chazal) were acutely aware of the dangers of drineeking.

The following are some excerpts from midrash. Midrash (sometimes transliterated as Medrash)is a genre of rabbinic literature. To explain midrash is far beyond the scope of this blog, let alone this article. You can get a decent introduction here. On one foot, midrash is rabbinic stories involving biblical characters, which are not actually recorded in the Torah. They may also contain biblical commentary from the rabbis on various subjects. The stories can be humorous, allegorical or even mystical. Over the centuries our sages have hotly debated the veracity of these teachings and stories, and how much weight they should be given. Rashi seems to have accepted them as absolutely literal, factual and authoritative where as the The Rambam seemed to teach they were, at best, allegorical. Nevertheless they remain important insights into the thoughts and wisdom of our greatest sages.

In the Midrash Tanhuma  the rabbis provide a humorous but honest warning about Noah and his vineyard:

When Noah set out to plant the vine, Satan encountered him and asked upon what errand he was bent. "I am going to plant the vine," said Noah. "I will gladly assist you in this good work," said Satan. When the offer of help was accepted Satan brought a sheep and slaughtered it on the plant, then a lion, then a pig, and finally a monkey. He thus explained these symbols to Noah. 

When a man tastes the first few drops of wine he will beeeeee as harmless as a sheep; when he tastes a little more he will become possessed of the courage of a lion and think himself as strong; should he further indulge in the liquid produced by your plant he will become as objectionable as a pig; and by yet further indulgence in it he will become like a monkey.

The Midrash Genesis Rabbah notices an interesting pattern in the Torah:

Every mention of wine-drinking is followed by some record of trouble.

With G-d's help I will be writing more on the subject of Noah and alcoholism before Shabbos comes in, Right now though, the hour is quite late so until next time please accept my warmest regards

-Emmanuel ben Avraham Avinu

The Happiness Project

Jews-For-Judaism director, Rabbi Skobac gives a presentation on leading a life of true fulfillment and peace. He hits on my many topics of recovery and even borrows a little from A.A.

Pesach & The Joy of Freedom

How does it feel to be a slave? Every waking moment you must think about the needs of your master. If you want to go to a family event? out of town? a work meeting? You have to make sure these things are convenient for your master. You must be ready to serve your master at any moment, even if it is the middle of the night, or during an important project at work, or during your child's birthday, You must drop everything at a moment's notice to serve your master immediately. 

There is absolutely nothing more important than serving your master. Not your family, your friends, your job, even your life. 

If your master desires it, you will break the law for him. 

If your master desires it you will lie for him. 

If your master desires, it you will steal for him. 

If he desires you will sell your body for him.

When you are a slave, your hopes, dreams and desires are meaningless, you live only to serve your master. 

Although we are commanded to commemorate the exodus with the holiday of Pesach, we are actually commanded to remember it every day. Our Tzitzit and Tefilin is a reminder of it, we remember it when we recite the Shema. Why? 

We Jews have been (relatively) free for over three thousand years. However, any blessing, no matter how great, eventually you become accustomed to it. When you become accustomed to something, you are likely to become ungrateful for it. When you become ungrateful for something you are likely not to value it. When you do not value something you are likely to loose it. 

This is what happens to so many Jews today. When I was addicted to drugs I was just as much of a slave as my ancestors were in Mitzrayim. Except worse then them, I was not born into slavery,  I sought it out and chose it. It was a Mitzrayim of my own making. Look around you will see so many others in the same situation. People building their own prisons through addictions to drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex/pornography, work, technology/internet. 

The children of Israel came to Egypt to escape the pain of famine. To them it seemed too good to be true. All of their material needs would be taken care of, they did not see that it was really a trap and that eventually the easy life they thought they were going to get would turn into a life of toil and slavery. 

It was the same to me, when I first found drugs I thought I had found an easier way of life. I felt as though it had solved all my problems. I didn't realize that I was really becoming enslaved. That I would have to sacrifice everything to my new slave master. He would never relent, demanding constantly more work and sacrifice to serve him until eventually it killed me.

Even though as a secular Jew I celebrated Passover many times, I never appreciated it until I got into recovery. This is because I never saw the true meaning of it. I never valued the incredible gift of freedom HASHEM had granted me. I did not appreciate it so I gave it away. 

Many places in the Torah HASHEM reminds us that it was He who took us out of the house of bondage in Egypt. Why? In the grand scheme of things it seems like a rather small miracle. Wouldn't it make more sense to say "I am HASHEM, your G-d who created the heavens and earth", or "I am HASHEM your G-d who gives life to all things", or "I am HASHEM your G-d who controls the entire universe".

I believe we are reminded so much about the miracle of the exodus specifically because it reminds us that HASHEM is the only one who can take us out of bondage. That any time we want we can turn to Him and he has the power to grant us freedom, this most precious gift.

If you are in recovery, this is a great time of year for strengthening your program. Pharaoh can come in many forms, a pill, a needle, a pipe, a bottle, a computer, a smart phone...but remember HASHEM made you so that He is the only one you answer to. That you should not ever have to serve anyone or anything but Him. At all times He has the power to free you, if you turn to him.

Chag Sameach 

For some chizzuk, read this essay by Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski.

G-d of Our Understanding

The following is a wonderful series of videos which is a study of the book G-d of Our Understanding by Rabbi Shais Taub. R. Taub is a Lubavitcher chassid but this book is very basic, and generally applicable to all Jews. The concepts in the book are an attempt to explain the 12 steps within the context of Judaism. It is more of an intellectual book than a practical one. It assumes you already buy in to the action plan set forth in Alcoholics Anonymous and simply attempts to justify them by using Torah sources.



Nevertheless it is a great book and a good lecture series that I found profoundly inspirational and educational. Best of all it's free thanks to the wonderful folks at Chabad Lubavitch. When you give tzedakah please consider support their work

The Obligation To Pray

B''H

The last Shabbos as I was enjoying the oneg with my friends at shul my wife let my baby daughter roam around on her own. Even at ten months she already loves books and when she sees a bookshelf she loves grabbing all the books off and pretending to read them. As I cleaned up the mess she had made I noticed she had pulled down an unfamiliar book. I must have looked through the synagogue's modes library many times in the last five years I've been a member, yet somehow I had never seen this book. The book was called Art of Jewish Prayer.  I found the following passage to be too good not to post here. It takes a number of concepts I have read from various sources and explains them such a wonderfully clear and concise way and brings in some new things I'd never considered about man's relationship with G-d. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

    One of the 613 commandments of the Torah is the requirement to pray. The Torah tells us in Deuteronomy that every Jew is required to "serve God with his whole heart and with his whole soul. The Talmud asks, "What is meant by serving G-d with one's heart?" It concludes that this verse means we are required to pray. This is one of the two sources of the Jews' obligation to pray. 

    The second source comes from the Prophets. It refers to our obligation to pray after we have sinned as a means of spiritual growth. This second source refers to our having turned from G-d, and our asking G-d to help us return. We can always ask God to assist us in our spiritual growth, even when by straying we have removed ourselves from our spiritual roots. 

    We can only call out to G-d truthfully if we are ready for spiritual elevation and personality modification. We must have a certain humility, and recognition of G-d's power, in order to be able to relate to Him. A relationship with G-d requires many of the same elements that a relationship between two people requires. They both require communication of feelings from one person to the other, and the desire for one person to ask the other for help at times. When we open ourselves up in any relationship, not only do we become closer to the second person, but the second person becomes closer to us as well. Similarly, the more we share what is in our hearts with G-d, the closer He can be to us. 

    Conversely, the more we hide ourselves from G-d and keep our feelings private, the more distance we maintain between ourselves and Him. If we hold back, we prevent G-d from being close to us. The reality of G-d for us is created by our willingness to share our inner selves with Him. The more we share our thoughts and feelings with G-d, and the more we develop ourselves to make these thoughts and feelings acceptable to Him, the more we deepen our relationship with Him. 

    "G-d is close to those who call Him". We try to create a bond with G-d, and He meets us halfway. This means that when we begin to pray, we often find it difficult to imagine having a relationship with G-d, but as soon as we begin sharing our feelings with Him, He quickly responds by allowing us to feel His nearness and His reality. The more we allow ourselves to let go of our privacy and share our innermost selves with G-d, the more we overcome the distance that we feel between ourselves and Him. 
    
    Many times in life we busy ourselves because we are afraid to look at ourselves. We do the same thing when it comes to ourselves to G-d. We are afraid to let go of what we feel is our ultimate control over ourselves. we distract so that we can run away from G-d and not face who we are and who we should be. If we would only start to express our feelings and emotions when we pray to G-d, His "abstractness" would quickly be replaced by a sense of his immanence and reality 

Kirzner, Yitzchok, and Lisa Aiken. Art of Jewish Prayer . Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson, 1991. Print.

Gratitude in Action: Morning Blessings (Modeh Ani)

B''H

Gratitude In Action:
"Modeh Ani"

"In the service of the Almighty, the point of departure is Modeh Ani"   - Rabbi Sholom Dov Ber of Lubavitch ^[1]

This is post #2 in a series of posts, click here to view the introduction

Introduction

When I decided to start keeping mitzvot, this was a natural place to start. As  I said in the previous post in the "Gratitude In Action" series, I started with one blessing and then added a new one each week until I could get through all of the Birchot HaShachar easily. So naturally I started with Modeh Ani.

 One of the things my sponsor told me is "When I wake up I try to say a prayer of gratitude before even getting out of bed.". Our sages (Z''L) in their incredible wisdom had the same idea, that we need to start our day with gratitude. Therefore we need to pray on immediately arising, because we should be thankful for G-d giving us this new day alive.

I find this prayer particularly appropriate in my own case. Given the type of drugs I was using (Heroin, downers and painkillers) and the amount I used daily, it is truly a miracle and a blessing I am alive today. The words of the prayer resonate with me and as we delve into the text of the prayer itself, I will show you why.

The 5 Things

Early on in recovery a met a guy in the program, we'll call him Larry. He was an former biker gang member, and dope dealer who ended up living on the streets before he came into recovery. He has been in the program for 32 years. He was the first person I truly believed had quit dope for good and found a new way of life. Larry goes to a meeting just about every day and has for 30 years. He doesn't just say "Meeting makers make it", he embodies that saying. 

The first time we met, he shoved a laminated slip in my hand that had five enumerated sentences. Larry told me he stayed sober all these years by simply doing these five things every day, and if I did them I would never have to use again.

The list:

1. Every morning ask G-d to give you the strength to stay sober
2. Read some spiritual or recovery related literature
3. Attend a 12-step meeting
4. Associate only with sober people, preferably people in recovery
5. If you stayed sober, thank G-d before bed

I will discuss these things in depth and how they literally saved my life in another post. Right now I want to focus on #1.

In the Shacharit service we directly fulfill the 1st directive with several prayers that begin with "Yehi ratzon Milfanecha..." ("May it be Your will..."), which we will discuss in a forthcoming article.

One of these Yehi Ratzon prayers immediately follows the final blessing of Birchot Hashachar (Ham'avir shayna...). We can also find a similar prayer following the Shemoneh Esrei (Amidah).

So why don't we just say these prayers of supplication? What is the point of the blessings of gratitude that precede it?

Start with Thanks

In Judaism we rarely ask HASHEM for something without first thanking Him. As Rebbe Nachman of Breslov explains:

"When a person wants to pray to God and ask for what he needs, he should first thank God for all of His past kindnesses and only then ask for what he needs. Because if he starts by asking only for what he needs, God says, "Have you nothing to thank Me for then?"  -Siach Sarfey Kodesh 1-2^[2]

Chabad Lubavitch adds:

"The reflexive-reflective aspect of the initial segments [...] is to affect man in a way that readies him to stand before the Supreme King for the Shemoneh Esrei in appropriately reverent manner to submit his requests and petitions..." -Rabbi Immanuel Schochet

Alcoholics Anonymous also suggests it, drawing on a story in "We Agnostics":

"There is a description of a man who was resistant to the idea of a Higher Power. At the point that acknowledged that Power greater than himself he, "tumbled out of bed to his knees". This is a daily programme, so each day we do the same: start the day by getting out of bed and kneeling in prayer." (Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, 56)^[2]

I will also add that since I have started my day with these prayers of gratitude I have found each day becomes like a beautiful dream. All the anger and anxiety about life's problems just melts away when I recognize my true blessings.

Now, let's examine the text of the prayer itself.

Modeh Ani: The text

From Jewish Pathways / AishHaTorah ^[3]

At first look the text seems pretty straight forward, and for the most part it is. We are thanking HASHEM for "returning my soul within me", in essence giving us a new day of life. The Talmud teaches us that sleep is actually 1/60th of death:

"Five things are a sixtieth part of something else: namely, fire, honey, Sabbath, sleep and a dream. Fire is one-sixtieth part of Gehinnom. Honey is one-sixtieth part of manna. Sabbath is one-sixtieth part of the world to come. Sleep is one-sixtieth part of death. A dream is one-sixtieth part of prophecy." (Babylonian Talmud, Barachot 57b)

The idea of the soul leaving and being returned can either be thought of as a metaphor or mystically. The mystical claim is that one's neshama (soul) leaves his body during sleep. Before you wake HASHEM breathes it back into your nostrils. This is just as he breathed the neshama into Adam in Bereishit (Genesis).

In this way we should recognize that every morning is a new beginning. HASHEM in His boundless mercy gives us a blank slate every day. Perhaps yesterday you faltered, you yelled at someone, you hurt someone, you cheated someone, perhaps you even had a relapse. The prayer is reminding us today is a new day, it's a fresh start to turn everything around.

The second thing I want to draw attention to is the final line "Abundant is your faithfulness" ("Raba emunatecha"). It is appropriate that when reciting this blessing we pause between chemla (compassion) and Raba (Abundant/Great). We do this because we want to imply that HASHEM's faithfulness is abundant. If you do not pause, it incorrectly imply's that his compassion is abundant.

You may ask "What difference does it make?"

Surely HASHEM's compassion is abundant. We know HASHEM is the most compassionate. However that is not what the blessing is trying to say. We are not saying HASHEM restored our soul because He is compassionate. What we are saying is that He restored it because He is faithful.

It may seem weird to think of HASHEM as being faithful in a person, normally we are thinking about a person's faith in Him.  The point is that in this day you are alive, not as a reward for what you did yesterday but because G-d has faith in you, He returns your soul in faith that today you will use it to pursue good not evil. He returns it in faith that today will be the day that you make teshuva (returning to Him). We have to realize and appreciate that if our waking up tomorrow was based on the merits of today, the world would be mostly empty tomorrow.

After the prayer pause a moment and consider the people who do not have the blessing of today. Recognize and give thanks for the blessing of a fresh start, a blank slate, and commit to using it in the best way you can.

Halacha

Here are a few points of halacha (Law) regarding the recitation of Modeh Ani

• The blessing should be said immediately on awakening. Do not get out of bed, do not wash your hands, do pass go, do not collect $200. SAY THE BLESSING as soon as your eyes are open. ^[4]
• It is acceptable to say Modeah Ani before Natilat Yadayim (washing hands) because it does not contain G-d's name. ^[4]
• It is appropriate to cover one's head with a yarmulke (or even with the blanket) while reciting the blessing.
• A woman should substitute the first word for the feminine "Modah"
• It is appropriate to recite the blessing even if one has stayed awake all night. ^[5]
• Some Mizrahim (Levantine Jews) may substitute Elohai Nishama... for Modeh Ani... and this is acceptable if it is your minhag (custom) to do so. ^[6]

Final Thoughts

There is a story going around on the Internet. Maybe it is apocryphal, may be it isn't either way it gives you something to think about as the phenomenon it describes is true.

“At a United States convention of neurologists from all over the world, one of the main topics was the phenomenon of people fainting upon getting up from bed.

One of the speakers was Professor Linda McMaron of Great Britain and she gave a lengthy speech regarding her study on this issue.
She elaborated that after many years of study and investigation on this subject, she came to the conclusion that such fainting is caused by the sharp transfer between laying down and standing up.

Professor McMaron said that it takes 12 seconds for the blood to flow from the feet to the brain. But when a person quickly stands up upon waking up, the blood gets ‘thrown’ to the brain too quickly and the result is fainting. She suggested that each person, even one that does not have a tendency to faint, upon waking up should sit on the bed, and count slowly to 12 to avoid dizziness, weakness, and/or fainting.

Her speech was rewarded with loud applause and enthusiastic feedback.

Another professor, a Jewish religious man asked permission to speak. He said,
"With us, the Jews, there is an old tradition, thousands of years old, to say a prayer of thanks to the Creator of the World for providing us with the opportunity of a new day for accomplishment. The prayer is said immediately upon waking up, while one is still in bed and lying down. There are 12 words in this prayer and if one regulates himself to say it slowly with concentration, it takes exactly 12 seconds to say it...12 words in 12 seconds."

He said the prayer slowly in Hebrew:

"Modeh ani le’fanecha melech chai v’kayam, shehechezarta bi nish’mati b’chem’lah. Rabah emunatecha." 

"I Greatfully Thank You, living and eternal King, for You have returned my soul within me with compassion - abundant is your faithfulness!” 

The auditorium burst into a standing applause that roared throughout the auditorium.
This time, it was for the Creator of the World.

---

Footnotes: 
1.Gilnet, Lewis, The Joys of Hebrew
2. Greenbaum, Avraham. The Essential Rabbi Nachman, Jerusalem, Israel: Azamra Institute, 2006. Print.

3. It is important to note that kneeling or prostration during prayer, though a historical Israelite practice,  is considered inappropriate in modern Rabbinic Judaism.

Judaism.
4. Reproduced without permission
5. Mishna Brurah 1:8
6. DailyHalacha
7. source

Gratitude in Action: Morning Blessings (Introduction)

B'H:

Gratitude In Action:

Morning Blessings

"A grateful alcoholic will never drink" -Anonymous

The importance of gratitude

If the 12 steps are the engine of recovery, then gratitude is the gasoline. Gratitude did not and could not get me sober, but it is what sustains my sobriety and fuels my recovery on a daily basis. I hear many people come in the rooms and talk about fear keeping them sober. They stay in the program because they are afraid of the consequences of going back out.

I don't feel like fear is a reliable motivator for me.

I had no fear of sticking the needle in my arm the first time. I certainly had no fear of death injecting 10-15 bags of Heroin a day. Certainly no fear of prison when I would drive me dealer, an escaped convict on the run, across the state to get dope from his supplier.

What stands between me and the next fix or the next drink is gratitude.

You might say "Isn't it HASHEM that keeps you from using?".

The simple answer is no.

HASHEM has performed the miracle of removing the need and desire to use from me. However giving my will to Him every day (Step 3) is a conscious act that must be done at least daily. Someone in a meeting once told me:

"I can give my will to G-d, the problem is that He loves us so much he will let us take our will and our life back whenever we choose". 

I will admit it, sometimes I think about getting high. I don't think I've met any addict in recovery that says he or she does not, at least occasionally, think about. It is not the horrible burning obsession that it once was, but the thought may pop in to my head from time to time. It is at these times that I ask HASHEM to give me the power to stay sober. The key is that I have to choose to ask for His help!

Gratitude is what gives me the desire to give my will to HASHEM.

I appreciate the wonderful life that I almost threw away for drugs. I appreciate my family, my health, having food on the table, my home, my clothes, running water and most of all being alive! Recognizing how fortunate I am and continue to be thankful and grateful for these blessings in my life is what gives me the desire to live recovery every day.

Practicing Gratitude

"You can't think your way into right action, but you can act your way into right thinking." - Anonymous

 There's a common saying in the rooms regarding the book Alcoholics Anonymous "There's no chapter call 'In to thinking' but there is one called 'In to action'" Like any other spiritual principle gratitude is something which must be practiced so that it becomes as much of a part of our thinking as getting dressed in the morning.

Fortunately for us in their infinite wisdom our sages (Z''L) realized how important gratitude is. Since all blessing comes from HASHEM, The Talmud prescribes that a Jew should recite a short prayer of gratitude to HASHEM so we don't take his blessings for granted.

“A person is forbidden to enjoy any of the pleasures of the world without first reciting praise to God” (Babylonian Talmud, Brachot 35a).

This reminds of the importance of simple blessings that we might otherwise take for granted. The blessings are fixed so we don't have to worry about figuring out what to say, or when, our sages (Z'L) figured that all out for us!

The Talmudic sage Rabbi Meir (Z''L) suggests a Jew should say 100 blessings each day!

"It was taught in a Baraita: R. Meir said: a person must make 100 blessings each day, as it is written... (Deuteronomy 10:12) 'And now Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you...' " (Babylonian Talmud, Menachot 43b)

When I learned that I wasn't sure I had 100 things a day I should be thankful for! I had no idea how I could possibly fulfill this mitzva. I don't suggest trying to at first. What I did was simply started with one and said it every day until it became routine. Then I added another, and another. I ended up adding about one each week, but you should go at your own pace. However you feel comfortable.

"You will find many kinds of devotion in the sacred literature and think, “When will I be able to fulfill even one of these devotions, let alone all of them?!” Don’t panic. One shouldn’t rush and try to grasp everything at once. He has to go slowly, step by step without getting into a tizzy and trying to do and accomplish everything immediately. If he is over hasty he will become totally confused. When there is fire, God forbid, people panic and rescue needless aitems."   (R. Nachman of Breslov, Rebbe Nachman's Wisdom, #27)

Morning Blessings

In the next series of posts I will discuss in depth the morning blessings. In my recovery these have been the most important part of my day. These blessings keep me humble, they center my ego and help me connect with HASHEM and prepare to ask for His power to keep me sober that day.

To read Part 2: Modeh Ani

Click Here